Day 25 / Failed Fitness Plans

With a silver lining of sensuality

Alright, let’s chat hermit fitness routines.

Because my initial hermit chapter ideas included the following: daily swims, runs, yoga and meditation. Weekly digital detoxes and fasting. A new 6am morning routine. Plenty of fresh fruit and veg. Limited carbs. No alcohol.

And has it materialised? Erm, not quite.

Flatlining

Let’s rewind a few months.

It’s a bleak UK midwinter. Vitamin D levels are low.

For the past few months, I’ve been heads down building our new platform. At this stage, I am essentially a software developer. It doesn’t align well with my more extroverted ‘face of the operation’ self.

Long winter months of working from home. PJs on the sofa.

Oh and let’s not forget the cherry on top, a fizzling relationship where sexual attraction has petered out. Where feeling desire or desired is long gone. Yep super duper great for body confidence!

I did a lot of yoga. Told myself I was making time for me. But, along with everything else, my relationship to my body was feeling a bit, well, meh.

So now as I look back at my expectations for my hermit chapter, I’m not surprised. I wanted to get back to feeling good. Mentally. Physically.

A big old reboot for me in every sense.

Indulging

But the past few weeks have ended up being less monastic, more nurturing. Indulgent even.

The things that have been embraced - daily swims, morning meditation, stuffing my face with big fat slices of fresh watermelon - have been because of joy. Because they feel like a treat.

The other things - fasting, no alcohol, a daily run (tbf my sprained ankle saga got in the way of this one) - just never quite materialised.

Instead, I found myself enjoying a new evening ritual featuring a glass of chilled, slightly sweet, local red wine and a good book.

I finally cracked how to make a reaaally good carbonara with a Grecian spicy sausage twist.

Stocked up on sleep and bid farewell to my under eye bags.

And with being stark naked essentially all of the time, my skin is gold and freckly. Not a tan line in sight.

Body Loving

This past week or so, I’ve really felt a shift.

Maybe it’s the meditation and/or swimming. Maybe it’s living in my birthday suit. Maybe it’s the mood boost of the humble tan.

Whatever it is, boy oh boy am I feeling myself again. Finding a real peace and happiness in my body. Regaining a sense of sensuality.

Even starting to look at my big Cooper bum (inherited from my dad’s side of the family) with a degree of loving acceptance.

So no, there hasn’t been a bikini body transformation. If anything, I think I’m in worse shape athletically than when I arrived.

But somewhere along the way I think I might just have fallen back in love with little old me and her perfectly imperfect body again.

Turns out all I really needed was unlimited access to sun, sea and hummus.